This week I start with part two of Brittany’s story “Affair.” If you’d like to reacquaint yourself with part one, click here.
Affair: Part II
By: Brittany Adkins
He collected her bag from the trunk and carried it inside. Lily followed him into the master bedroom. His room. She stopped in the doorway, looking nervously as if the room was her greatest fear. She looked at him as he put the bag down on a small bench by the closet door.
“Paul? What are you doing? Andrea will kill you. And what if your kids will see?”
Paul walked over to her and placed one hand on her hip and the other on her cheek cupping her face. He smiled a sweet, loving smile as he looked into her eyes. He leaned down and kissed her softly, before pulling away stroking her cheek tenderly.
“Andrea is in New Zealand working on a film. My kids are at summer camp and my ex, Diane, is in New York. We are alone all week. I told Andrea I was going to be buried in work all week and wouldn’t even have time to talk. Relax, will you? This isn’t our first time.”
Lily sighed, nodded, and went over to the bed to sit down to take her boots off, but she still had an uneasy gut feeling that she couldn’t seem to shake.
“How about we get in some time in by the pool, and then we will order in dinner and enjoy the night together?” He asked her, then turned back to her giving her that sly smile she loved and could hardly resist.
She looked at him and smiled softly, consenting to him. She walked over to pull out her bikini, then went to the overly large bathroom to change into the suit and pulled up her long hair into a pony tail. She sighed in the mirror as she tried to calm her nerves. This wasn’t the first time they had been together but every time felt like the first. She walked out to see him sitting on the bed, she then walked over to him. He pulled her close, ran his hands over her hips, and ass as he looked up at her.
“You don’t seem happy to be here.”
She blushed and ran her fingers through his hair. “I am. I always am. I am just nervous like always. This could be our millionth time and I would still be as nervous as the first time we kissed. Take it as a compliment.” She replied before taking his hand and leading him downstairs through the very familiar house out the back door to the patio, where the pool was located. She laid down on one of the wooden lounge chairs and began to soak in some sun.
He laid down on one of the chairs beside her then, looked over at her. “I understand the nerves. You just seem a bit distant this time. I could be reading into things wrong, but I don’t think I am, am I?”
She closed her eyes tight behind her sun glasses before she spoke. “Don’t you think or feel like it is getting harder? For us to keep doing this?”
Paul sat up and looked at her concerned. “Lily? What are you talking about? Do you want to break up?” He asked worried he was about to lose her.
Lily sighed and shook her head as she sat up and took off her glasses. She fidgeted with her glasses before she replied. “No. Not at all. But I can’t keep pretending this is just a once every three months thing. I am in love with you! Which is a terrible thing, cause you have a girlfriend and a family, and I have a husband and a family.” She said before she looked out at the pool trying not to cry. She was pretty sure that he was going to want call it quits after hearing that she was in love with him.
Paul looked at her shocked and sat there quiet for a moment before he finally answered, “Well I am glad it is not just me.” He laughed uncertainly. “I am in love with you too. I have been for a long time, I just didn’t know how to say it or bring it up. This isn’t exactly easy, you know? This is how my marriage ended, remember? I was sleeping with Andrea, who was my assistant and close to your age. I don’t want to lose what I have with her, but I can’t lose you either.” He said unsure of what to do.
She smirked and finally chuckled as she looked up at him. She asked him more sincerely, “What is it with you, and women who are twenty years younger than you? I’m twenty eight, Andrea’s twenty eight. Do you ever feel like I am too young for you?”
Paul got up and began to pace slowly as she spoke. Stopping only to look at her as he spoke. “Too young for me? Never! Your mind is magnificent! You make me feel alive in the ways I could never describe. I want you to know that I love you for more than just this sexual affair we have been having. Andrea gives me some of that, but you give me things no one ever has, ever.”
Lily fiddled with her sunglasses as she looked at him again, watching him pace like a nervous cat. She reached up and took his hand. “Thank you, but Paul, I already knew that, and I am not leaving you, so please stop acting it. All I’m saying is, it’s getting harder and harder do to this and pretend we can just walk back into our lives like this never happened.” She expressed.
Paul sat down next to her and held her hand, turning her chin gently to make her look at him. “Then what are you asking me, Lily?”
She sighed and shook her head. “I don’t know what I am even asking…it all sounds so stupid now. I don’t want to leave Lee, and I don’t want you to leave Andrea…maybe I am asking for nothing.” She said feeling a bit embarrassed for her feelings.
Paul laughed softly as she laid her head on his shoulder, his arm slipped around her. “Are you asking for me to love you and make your feelings feel honored without breaking the rules?”
Lily laughed. “We are having an affair, I think that breaking a lot of rules.”
Paul stood up and laughed, “Well, if we are already breaking the rules, let’s go break some more.” He told her as he held out his hand.
She laughed, took his hand, and let him lead her back inside to the bedroom. He closed the door behind them, before he pulled her to him and began to kiss her with the love and passion she desired.
Her arms wrapped around him as they kissed. He shuffled with her, gently guiding her to his bed. She giggled softly as he finally laid her down, then crawled on top of her and continue kissing her. His hands roamed her body searching for the ties to her bikini.
As they kissed and they let hands roam freely over each other, Lily was sure she heard car doors closing, but she told herself it was only the neighbors. She was then sure she heard the front door open and close. She broke the kiss they shared.
Paul looked at her concerned. “What’s wrong?” He asked her in worried tone.
She looked at him. “I think someone is in the house!” she whispered to him as she tensed up nervously as they both listened for movement and voices.
They listened for a moment as Paul sat back on the bed. He knew those voices, but he didn’t want to believe it was them. He was sure of it now and knew exactly what was about to happen. Paul took Lily’s hand and hurried to the bathroom and started the shower. Paul jumped in the shower and got wet as he motioned for Lily to hide inside the shower and keep quiet.
Paul walked out of the bathroom wearing only a towel after he heard his bedroom door open. He knew when he walked out he would see his girlfriend Andrea and his agent Nathan.
Paul looked at them standing in his bedroom kissing each other. “What the hell!? Really Nathan? You’re screwing my girlfriend?! I should have known better than to date someone who helped me cheat on my ex-wife and successfully end my marriage! Damn it Andrea! I actually loved you!” Paul shouted in anger. He was angry but most of all he was trying to repress the conflict of emotions for protecting his lover in the shower and losing his girlfriend.
“You said he wasn’t home?! Now, I am probably going to lose two clients because you couldn’t stop trying to seduce me! I am done! I am sorry Paul…” Nathan shouted at Andrea who was in tears now, then looked apologetically at Paul.
Paul looked at him with a glare. “You’re damn right you lost me as client! You were a crappy agent anyway, get the hell out of my house!” Paul shouted at him. “And you can do the same!” He said to Andrea.
Nathan turned and left as Andrea began to speak. “It was never going to work between us, Nathan promised me a life you were always too busy for, and all you ever said is “I have kids, and obligations.” What was I supposed to do? Stay with you, a man who couldn’t give me what I wanted?” Andrea argued in defense.
Paul sighed, “I am pretty sure I just told you to get the hell out. So get the hell out!” He yelled at her as Andrea looked at him in shock that he didn’t just take her back, she then quickly ran out of the house.
Paul went downstairs and locked the doors and set the alarm before coming back upstairs. Lily sat on the bed drying off as he came into the bedroom. “I am really sorry Paul.” She said to him quietly.
He sat next to her, “Let’s not…I suspected something was up with her, but never this. You aren’t,” He paused. “With anyone else are you? Besides Lee?” He asked her point blank.
She looked at him a bit shocked, “No! Two men is difficult enough. Maybe…I should stay at a hotel tonight?” She said feeling things were tense between them.
He looked at her and shook his head. “Please don’t do that. Don’t you shy away when one of my relationships end, you are the only constant in my life. I need you to stay.” He replied as he kissed her gently.
She nodded then looked for a way to make the moment less tense. “How about I order some Chinese? We can watch a movie and pretend like always that it’s only us.” She said trying to cheer him up.
Paul nodded and kissed her again, then went to pick a movie as she picked up his phone and began to order Chinese from their favorite takeout place. She smiled as they both went into their frame of mind pretending they were a couple for the week and the outside world never mattered. It is what they did best when they were together. It was them in their happy little bubble, but now things would never be the same after this.
If you'd like more information about Brittany, check out her Facebook page. You can also contact me at Tony@tonywassom.com and I'll gladly pass on any messages to her.
By: Jenness Jordan
Every day it’s a battle. Some days are better than others. Other days like waves surging higher and higher. Crashing against walls of doubt and security. It doesn’t make sense that one would have doubt and carry security, but it is what I live with every day. Welcome to my life! A life filled with the debris of the past. There seems to be no escape. My head spins at times like a tornado out of control. Waiting to wreak havoc upon me and those around me.
What do I do? How do I do it? How can I stop it? Can I stop it?
“You can’t do this! You’re a failure! A chicken! A whack job!” An unknown voice whispers.
“No, I’m not. Stop! Please, just stop! Leave me alone!” I state, tears forming as I clutch my ears.
Thoughts or voices time lapse over and over replaying words and images that have haunted me for years. I fear there is no escape. Doom seems imminent. Loneliness and fear darken my path. I sit up looking around the room for him. He is not here. The room, darkens with each moment like a thick fog in the meadow. Panic bursts in. I must run.
My feet don’t touch the hard floor below me and yet, they carry me swiftly towards the door at the end of the hall. There is a light streaming beneath the door. A sense of warmth seeps into my skin. It seems familiar and safe, and yet, I dare not go further. Something keeps me from turning the knob.
“Why can’t I just open the door? I know what is on the other side. You are on the other side, but I’m too afraid. Afraid that I’ve been wrong all of these years. More than that, I’m afraid and ashamed of what I’ve done. You asked me only to accept you and let you into my life. It is something that may seem easy, but it isn’t. It hasn’t been easy for years. Why did I have to leave? Why am I so weak? You gave me everything and I wasn’t strong enough to hold onto you.”
Welcome to my life! Days vary, as well as, the nights. Although it may be sunny, inside I am filled with gloom. Gray days similar at best, but offer only glimpses of light and hope. Some might say that I’m a hot mess, while others may say different. Lately, I lean towards the hot mess, and feeling hopeless. As much he has shown me hope, I only accept it for a brief period of time and then it subsides like a raging storm.
I know what lies on the other side of the door, and yet I’m afraid to open the door and go in. Why am I so afraid? Is it fear of change, or the unknown? Part of me feels that it can’t be the unknown, as I know who waits on the other side, and yet, I’m still terrified. I know what needs to be done, but I am too afraid to do it. This only adds to my hot mess; to my stinking thinking. Do I even deserve happiness? He says that I do. My family says that I do, but how can that be when I struggle every moment with these tornadic thoughts. When I can’t make decisions, or even walk through the door.
For more information about Jenness Jordan, check out her site: jennessjordan. You can also reach her by email at email@example.com, tweet her @jazzyjenness, and check out her Facebook Page, Pinterest, Instagram, and Goodreads.
By: Tony Wassom
He stands at the plate,
Dusty but tucked.
The ball is close.
Not close enough.
The wind changes.
The cold north stares,
Who will blink first.
He steps out,
Looking through the cloud,
He only sees the pill.
A blur of white,
An involuntary swat,
A sound felt through his body.
This poem (or attempt at poetry) seemed apropos since today is opening day. As much as that, though, it is from my first Creative Writing class: the first class on the way toward my BA. This week marks the last of that journey as I only have a final essay between me and my degree. "Seasons" is my go-to project when I want to tweak something; I hope you enjoy its latest incarnation.